just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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