She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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