I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
