I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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