HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
