I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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