theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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