ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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