Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize