people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
