I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
PANTIES FOUND
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