we're blogging at a bar
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
