I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
