i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just found puke in my bra..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
