evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
