What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
