this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize