Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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