I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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