Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
