Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The power of my boobs compel you
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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