My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
