Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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