I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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