it wasn't lemon gatorade
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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