Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked

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(951): View more from California

So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.

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(708): View more from Illinois

For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...

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(365): View more from

I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.

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(585): View more from New York

Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.

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(951): View more from California

isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.

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(312): View more from Illinois

This toilet bowl is my home.

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