Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
