My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
