Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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