I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
you never un-have a 4some
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
