Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
