did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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