No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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