whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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