In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
