if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
