We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
