RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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