...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
