I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
