my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
