I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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