in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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