I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
