I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
