should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
