Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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