WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
