if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
