I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
