I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
