So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
