Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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