So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
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