we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize