it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
wanna go halves on a baby?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
