I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you would pick up someone in the library
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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