Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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