They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize