my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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