at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
