Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
please come you make the beer taste better
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
