6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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