Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
