So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
