We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize